11th Lesson — August 17, 2022
FATHER AND SON'S RELATIONSHIP
Background Reading: Psalm 103:13; Proverb 1:8; 3:13; 17:6; 19:26; Hebrews 12:6-10; Ephesians 6:2-4; Colossians 3:21
Devotional Reading: Luke 15:11-32
“Children's children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers.”
Proverbs 17;6, KJV
“Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.”
Proverbs 17;6, NIV
Provoke – To call forth (a feeling, an action, etc.): to stir up purposely.
Exasperating – Causing strong feelings of irritation or annoyance.
Riotous – Behaving in a violent and uncontrolled way: very exciting, fun, or full of energy.
The first institution that was established on earth by God was the family. The Biblical family consisted of a father and a mother, a man and a wife and later children. It takes a man connected with a woman in a sexual physical way to product a child, under normal circumstances.
God is so concerned about the family that the first commandment with a promise attached to it was regarding family. He told the children to honor their father and mother if they want to live long upon the land. But He also gave some commands to the Fathers and to the Mothers as well.
In these days, it has become a great problem in the homes, because many men help create children but do not stay around to help raise the children and provide a balanced home for them. We use a term called absentee fathers, which means that the woman has the responsibility of guiding the home, because the father is not there with the family. God never intended for the woman to have to be mother and father in the home, because He gave specific job descriptions for the father and the mother. When the home is situated right, the father has a place of headship. It does not mean that he is the boss, it means that he should be the leader in the home.
In many families it was a joy to have a son, because the son is the one who carries the bloodline. Most balanced families where there is a father, he wants a son to carry on the name of that family, because the seed comes from the father. In a correctly functioning family, the father is usually extremely happy to produce a son and will take time to develop a relationship with his son, which begins with love.
It is important for the father to spend time with his son, giving him care and guidance to help him become more empathetic and learn to be able to guide his life. Children learn by seeing, so it's important for boys to watch their father and for them to learn the ways of a man. The father has a great impact on the son, in how the son sees himself. It's easier for a son to learn confidence and self-esteem from a father. These qualities are so important in the lives of sons, for the time that we are living in provides much confusion for boys and girls. It has caused many boys to have identity crisis. Many boys don't know if they are a boy or a girl, because they have spent most of their life around women without the influence of a man in their lives.
Fathers are no longer the primary "bread winner" of the house, both parents are in the marketplaces working to make ends meet. So, it becomes necessary for the father to plan his life and schedule to include his son, so they can spend quality time together. It's important that sons see their fathers putting their families first for this will give him a greater respect for his family. He will be able to see how important the family unit is.
The son will look to the father as an example, for he needs to be his son's role model. It's alright for the son to see and admire others but he really needs to see his own father as a hero. So, that means the father must be an example in his actions toward God, his wife, his family, his job, and his community. He must let his son see the power of having integrity and honesty. His son is learning from him, for the father is one of the first and greatest teacher that a son can have, so he must teach him what is right.
In God's instruction He told fathers not to provoke their sons. God knows that fathers can come down hard on their sons. Many times, he's busy with things outside of the home and he doesn't have the patience that mothers generally have for their children, so they can be exasperating at times. Sometimes fathers can be a little bit sterner than mothers can especially with the sons. But fathers, if you make good decisions in front of your sons, they will try to make good decisions. It may be a decision that seems to go against the norm, but, if it's not a bad decision, support your son's values and decisions.
The Bible tells of a man who had two sons, one was content to stay home but one was dissatisfied with things in his father's house. Fathers must pray and ask God to show him his sons, for all sons are not the same. As God deals with the believers according to our several abilities, (Matthew 25:15), so must fathers deal with their sons according to their capacity. So, one day he asked his father for his inheritance. Normally the sons would get their inheritance after the death of the father, but for some reasons, he didn't want to wait. The father divided his property and gave the younger son his portion.
After a few days the son took what his father gave him and went far away from home where he spent his money in riotous living. He had no restraints; he just did whatever he wanted to do until he had spent all his money. He was far from home where he had no family nor friends that he could turn to for help. There was a famine in the land, so it meant that things were really bad for a stranger, so he was in need, for his money supply was gone. Things were so bad that all he could find to do was to go to the hog pen to feed swine. It was so bad that he wanted to eat the swine's food.
But he came to himself and decided to go back to his father's house. He remembered what a compassionate father he had. When he returned his father was watching and waiting for him. He received him back with love and forgiveness. He had a welcome home party which caused his older brother to be very angry. The Father's lovingly told the older son that all he had belonged to him, he could have a party anytime, but his lost son had retuned, and he was happy for his return. He was a good father who loved both his sons. God is our heavenly Father, who loves all His children. Train up a child in the way that he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6).
1. What is so special about a son?
2. Why is it necessary for a father to spend time with his son?
3. What makes a good relationship with father and son?
God’s Purpose For A Believer Always Supersedes
The Believer’s Thoughts For Himself
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